Monday, September 27, 2010

Future Life..........!!! Nandan Nilekani's dream - how the national ID card will ವರ್ಕ್....!!!


Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's he..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... You're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jal Vayu.....Your home number is 2x26xxxx, your office 250xxxxx and your mobile is 09xxxxxxxx. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00"

Customer: "Can I pay by! Credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Nano car,...registration number GZ-05-AB-1107.."

Customer: " ?"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... By the way... Aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]

(collected)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

software ವಚನಗಳು






ಉಳ್ಳವರು ಬಿಸಿನೆಸ್ ಮಾಡುವರು ,
ನಾನೇನು ಮಾಡಲಿ ಸಾಫ್ಟ್ವೇರ್ ಇಂಜಿನಿಯರ್ ಅಯ್ಯ ,
keyboard ಎ ಕತ್ತಿ, mouse ಎ ಕವಚ ,
monitor ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಬರೋ output ಎ ಜಿವನವಯ್ಯ...,
ಎನ್ನ ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ಸೇರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡ ಕಂಪನಿಯೇ ನನ್ನ ಭವಿಷ್ಯವಯ್ಯ .... ,
software ಸಂಗ್ರಾಮ ದೇವ.....!!!!



ಮಾತು ಬೇಡ , ನಿದ್ದೆ ಬೇಡ , ಉಟ ಬೇಡ ,
ಸ್ನೇಹಿತರು ಬೇಡ , ಸಂಸಾರ ಬೇಡ ,
holiday ಗೆ ಕಾಯಿ ,
ಬದುಕಿದ್ದರು ಸಾಯಿ ,
ಎನಗೆ ಪ್ರಾಜೆಕ್ಟಿನ output ಎ ಗುರಿ
deadline meet ಆಗದಿರುವ ಪರಿ ,
overload ಜಾಸ್ತಿ ಆದರು ಸರಿ ...
ಇದೆ software engineer ಜೀವನ ತಿಳ್ಕೋ ಮರಿ .....:)

ಕಾಯಕವೇ ಕೈಲಾಸ ,
ಸಾಫ್ಟ್ವೇರ್ ನ ಸಹವಾಸ ,
ನಿದ್ರೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಪೇಚಾಟ ,
code ಗಳ ಕಚ್ಚಾಟ ,
error ಗಳ ಕಿರಚಾಟ ,
ಒತ್ತಡದ ಹೊಯ್ದಾಟ ,
ಸುಖವಿಲ್ಲದ ದೊಂಬರಾಟ ,
ಜೀವನವು ವನವಾಸ ,
ಇನ್ನೆಲ್ಲಿ ಕೈಲಾಸ software ಸಂಗ್ರಾಮ ದೇವ .......:)


ಜೀವನದ ಮೇಲೆ ಆಸೆ ನಿನಗೇಕೆ ..?
ಖುಷಿ ಎಂಬುದು clients ಗೆ , ಸಾಫ್ಟ್ವೇರ್ ಇಂಜಿನಿಯರ್ ಗೆ ಉಂಟೆನಯ್ಯ ...!!!
ನಗುಎಂಬುದು ಪ್ರಿತಿವಂತರಿಗೆ , ಇದರ ಮೇಲೆ ನಿನಗೆ ಹಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲವಯ್ಯ ...!!!
ಸಂಸಾರ , ಸಂಬಂಧಗಳ ತ್ಯಾಗ ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಮಾತ್ರ
ಮೆಚ್ಚುವನು ನಿನ್ನ ಪ್ರಾಜೆಕ್ಟ್ manager ಕಣಯ್ಯಾ
software ಸಂಗ್ರಾಮ ದೇವ .....:)

Monday, September 13, 2010

ಕಲ್ಪನೆಯ ಹೆಣ್ಣು ....ಕವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಣು...!!!

ಯಾರು ನೀನು ಚೆಲುವೆ
ದಿನ ದಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸಿಗುವೆ
ನಿನ್ನ ಬರುವೆಗೆ, ನಾ ಕಾಯುತ, ಕಾಲವನ್ನು ಕಳೆವೆ ...!!!!

ಎದುರಲ್ಲಿ ನೀನು ಬರಲು
ಮನದಲ್ಲಿ ಹರ್ಷ ತರಲು
ಸಂತಸವ ಉಕ್ಕಿ ಹರಿದು
ನೀ ತಿರುಗಿ ನನ್ನ ನೋಡಲು .....!!!!

ಹೆಸರೇನು ಎಂದು ಕೇಳಲು
ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲೇ ನೀನು ಹೇಳಲು
ನಿನ್ನ ಮುದ್ದು ಮುಖದ ಆ ನಗು
ನನ್ನ ಹೃದಯ ನಾಟಿತೇ ಅದು ...!!!!

ದಿನರಾತ್ರಿ ನಿನ್ನ ನೆನಪು
ಕನಸಲ್ಲೂ ನಿನ್ನ ಹೊಳಪು
ಬಿಸಲೂ ಗಾಳಿ ತಂಪು
ಉಸಿರಲ್ಲೂ ನಿನ್ನ ಕಂಪು ....!!!!

ನಿನ್ನ ನಡಿಗೆಯ ಸೊಬಗು
ಬಣ್ಣಿಸಲು ಆಗದ ಸವಿಯು
ನೀನು ಬಂದು ಹೋಗುವ ಕ್ಷಣವೂ
ಮನದಲ್ಲಿ ಮೋಡದ ಮಳೆಯೂ ...!!!

ಹೇಗೆ ಬಣ್ಣಿಸಲಿ ಎಲ್ಲಾ
ಬರಿ ಸಾಲಲ್ಲೇ ಕಂಡೆ ನಾ ನಿನ್ನ
ಈ ಮಧುರ ಕಲ್ಪನೆ ಗೆ ನನ್ನ
ಇದೋ ಪ್ರೀತಿಯ ಕವನ ...!!!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

FORGET THE EGO ---->Really Worth reading......... !!!!

Think about it...
It's another morning.........
Again I have to go to the office.
Ohh!! this is me...
I shouted, having a glance at my ‘photo’ in today's news paper.
But what the HELL is it doing in the death column??
Strange...

One second.......Let me think, last night when I
was going to bed I had a severe pain in my chest,
but I don't remember anything after that, I think
I had a sound sleep.

It's morning now, ohh....... It's already 10:00 AM,
where is my coffee?
I will be late for office and my boss will get a
chance to irritate me..
Where is everyone...??? I screamed.

"I think there is a crowd outside my room, let me
check." I said to myself.

So many people..... Not all of them crying......
But why are some of them crying....
WHAT IS THIS??? I’m lying there on the floor...
"I AM HERE" ....... I shouted!!! No one is
distening.
"LOOK I AM NOT DEAD" .... I screamed once again!!
No one is interested in me.

They all were looking at me on the bed.
I went back to my bed room.
"Am I dead??" I asked myself...
Where is my wife, my children, my Mom, my Dad, my
friends?
I found them in the next room, all of them were
crying...still trying to console each other.
My wife was crying... she was really looking sad.
My little kid was not sure what happened, but he
was crying just because his Mom was sad..

How can I go without saying to my kid that I
really love him,
I really do care for him. ??
How can I go without saying to my wife that she is
really the most beautiful and most caring wife in
this world..??

How can I go without saying to my parents that I’m
what I am ... just because of you??
How can I go without telling my friends that
without them perhaps I would have done most of the
wrong things in my life... thanks for being there
always when I need them...and sorry for not being
there when they really need me..

I can see a person standing in the corner and
trying to hide his tears....
Oh.... he was once my best friend, but a small
misunderstanding made us part, and we both have a
strong enough ego to keep us disconnected.
I went there..... And offered him my hand,

"Dear friend.... I just want to say sorry for
everything, we are still best friends, please
forgive me."

No response from other side, what the hell?? He is
still preserving his ego, I am saying sorry... even
then!!!
I really don't care for such people.
But one second...... It seems he is not able to see
me!!!! He did not see my extended hand.
My goodness...... AM I REALLY DEAD???
I just sat down near ME; I was also feeling like
crying...

"OH ALMIGHTY!!!! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME FEW MORE
DAYS..."
I just want to make my wife, my parents; my
friends realize how much I love them.....
My wife entered the room, she looks beautiful.
"YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL" I shouted.
She didn't hear my words, in fact she never heard
these words because I never said this to her.
"GOD!!!!" I screamed... a little more timeplzzzzz...
I cried...
One more chance please... to hug my child, to make
my mom smile just once, to feel my dad proud of me
at least for a moment, to say sorry to my friends
for everything I have not given to them, and
thanks for still being in my life....
Then I looked up and cried!!
I shouted.......

"GOD!!!! ONE MORE CHANCE PLEASE!!!!"

"You shouted in your sleep," said my wife as she
gently woke me up. "Did you have a nightmare?"
I was sleeping....
Ohh that was just a dream....
My wife was there... she can hear me...
This is the happiest moment of my life...
I hugged her and whispered....
"YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND CARING WIFE
IN THIS UNIVERSE..... I REALLY LOVE YOU, DEAR"
I can't understand the reason of the smile on her
face with some tears in her eyes, still I’m
happy....

"THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS SECOND CHANCE."

SO, now it's not late... Forget the egos, the
Past... and express your love to others.......
Be friendly...
Keep smiling...... forever....It is another chance
For you...

Please let us do things more sincerely.
(collected...!!!!)